All of my homies are either getting married or joining the military. Hometown bros in the culdesac we used to drive by. In the culdesac we used to get high. Now everyone’s dry. No waves bringing change. Hometown bros used to call me just to stop by. Now they’re doing what they can just to get by. Just to get by. Debris on the road. Faded jacket by cans in a row. Charcoaled deck etched by the solid state blown. The yawning breeze will shoot the guns. Will scan the barcode.
In 2065 AD in our own towns and cities they’ll be people making love to holograms designed from dreams. Technologically perfect sex machines. Made and sold in the USA. You’ll leave for a month with a product more suited for your needs. Electrical wires triggering feelings out of reach of human ecstasies. Made and sold in the USA. It was created, recorded, downloaded, and processed in a day. Got us to get rid of the ones standing in the way of the way. We kill the culture that we don’t even want anyway. Pleasure, taste, for all always be the same. We won’t fight until we die. When the power cuts out that’s when we’ll reach for the sky. I know the best of the greatest is what we really want to find. But I’ll never read the signs and the signs won’t ever know my mind. I’m breeze-blowing tame.
Words are floating down the river by the bridge where the mailman is casting his line. Schoolgirl jumps in the freezing blue. She will do anything to tear those thoughts from the spine. Father’s at work with the colliers down in the mine. Soon trading his coal for a pint. At home her brother’s double bass pattern nearly makes mom lose her mind and sister is in the backyard with a boy flashing a bulb in his eye. Document impulse the girl shoots all that she finds. Female drive to preserve space and time. I walk around the front always in motion but the pace of my feet feels fluid and slow. A steady track shot with no cuts away from the road. No establishing frame I can reference to call my home. No cross cuts to new places to tell my feet where to go.
I accept it but I know somebody will take my place. There’s always something there to fill in the space.
I put my hands on her collar bone underneath the sweater that was oversized. All my lust is aestheticized on the canvas that ripples beneath our knees. Inside the warmth of that chimney was looking for a piece of a train that used to get mileage around the TV. A blinking white line drawing circles around me. Outside the city ; kids on the bus - looking for the red-striped man and the key and the scroll and the girlfriend lying on the sand. On a mountain, by the Seine, in a battlefield in feudal Japan. The kids don’t want to shoot their friends. They just want to see themselves holding a gun in their hands.
Every step I take is a means to another end. Everything that I do I do so I can tell you how it went. In the park where she was. In my dreams with no external reality. There’s nothing I can trust about my projection of you. It’s just something expressed. Of course I’m always impressed with something I made up. With torn butterfly wings. Goes better with marshmallow things. Forms of thoughts. Forms of words. Fogs and canopies. I was fooled like the duke and the king when I was fooling. Her marble red brown house was sliding off the tracks. On the stairs, opened my hole and I was slipping through the cracks. On my knees.
credits
released January 13, 2011
These four songs are taken from the 12-song CD-R recorded in Ben's bedroom(s) in NYC from May – December 2010 in New York City.
Cover designed by Aiko Masubuchi and Ben Hozie. All hand-painted hard copies are SOLD OUT.
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